I Miss My Long Hair

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About a year ago I had the opportunity to do an author interview with the fantastic Aaron Michael Ritchey and Cody May for a Colorado Author Interview series. The videos are officially up! If you ignore the fact that all my dates are completely wrong, I actually did a pretty good job staying focused during this interview for a change (mostly). Go me! I hope you all enjoy watching it as much as I enjoyed filming it!

You can see the updated news for my Fallen and Game of Thorns series(es) by following the links On My Nightstand (or just clicking the links I included in this post). And don’t forget to check out the rest of the author videos from this series here.


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Why Mess With Perfection?

Why Mess With Perfection?

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I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions. Honestly, I never really have. When I was younger there wasn’t anything I wanted to change badly enough that I resolved “this would be the year!” Now that I’m a bit older and I pretend to be a whole lot wiser, I’ve come to the conclusion that if something is important to you, why wait? The new year in and of itself isn’t going to be inherently different. Sure, the people around you might work furiously on their resolutions for a couple of weeks before reality sets in, motivation dwindles, and the flurry of activity previously encircling them fizzles and dies. They, like you, still have all the same time constraints, commitments, and responsibilities that kept them from following through last year too. new year, resolution, meme, funny

In and of itself, that sounds really pessimistic, but it actually isn’t intended to be. The truth is, life as we’ve built it tends to be pretty mundane. People are creatures of habit so it’s really not a surprise that much of our day follows the same predictable patterns time and time again. The problem– as I see it– with New Year’s resolutions is the seeming expectation that everything is going to be radically different right fucking now. Someone who wants to finally get fit, but has been totally sedentary for years, resolves to go to the gym 5 times per week– we’ve all seen the memes– they’re ready, they’re committed, they are going to keep this up for… not very long. For some it’s a few weeks, for others a matter of days, and some commit and never get started.

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Okay, I would totally go to this gym.

Don’t get me wrong, getting fit and improving your physical health are fantastic goals. But let’s be rational and honest with ourselves for a minute. Anyone who does 5-a-weeks can tell you that it’s a) time consuming, and b) hard as fuck, even if you’re conditioned for it. How much more difficult is that going to be for someone who has been inactive? Not only are they trying to create a new habit, they’re trying to squeeze it into their probably already busy schedule and it’s going to be extremely unpleasant. This is not a recipe for longevity.

Let’s take another popular example: “This year I’m going to get organized!” First of all, what does that even mean? A non-specific goal is like a moving target: how are you going to hit it? (You can actually apply that same principle to the fitness goal, or any goal, but that wasn’t the point I was making previously). Sooooooo specifics: if like me, you want to declutter your house– i.e. you want to trash, donate, or otherwise remove those things you don’t need and aren’t using– again, an admirable goal– the thing you have to remember is that you didn’t accumulate all of that stuff overnight and you certainly aren’t going to be able to clear it overnight, short of burning it all and starting over. Seriously, don’t do that, it’s super dangerous. You’re going to need time and energy, and in some cases emotional fortitude, to deal with all of the stuff you’ve been collecting.

Are you starting to see where I’m going with this? Rather than thinking about the New Year as the starting point to a 100 meter dash, think of it as a mile-marker in a marathon. You’re already running a race, don’t quit in the middle to start a new one. Distance runners use laps to measure race progress. They have target times per lap, which gives them a unit to measure progress and they adjust accordingly in order to stay on track for whatever the ultimate goal is: finishing the race, personal best, first place, etc.

Be a marathon runner: don’t try to achieve all your goals for the new year in January. Yes, a new year is a great time to assess progress and adjust accordingly, but remember that the adjustments don’t have to be huge to be impactful. Start small and build, consistency is far more important than volume. E.g.: rather than resolving to hit the gym at the ungodly hour of 6am 5 days per week, resolve to walk for 15 minutes per day after dinner. It’s good for digestion, doesn’t require a membership, and it’s far more sustainable. Plus, the cumulative effort will add up. Same goes for decluttering your house. Instead of thinking you have to find a whole weekend (or week, depending on the amount of stuff you’re hoarding) to take care of it all at once, spend 15-30 minutes a few times per week working in one area at a time until until you’ve made the rounds through the whole house.

Whether it’s a new year, new month, new week, or you’re just ready to make a change– believe it or not, you can make a change at any time, you don’t have to wait until the “start” of something new– look first to what you’ve actually achieved and take honest stock of where you are. Then reflect on the things you’d like to improve and achieve. Is it your finances? Your health? Do you want to write a book? (Yay!) Do you want to travel? All of the above? Pick the one goal that is most important to you and get specific. That will be your priority focus. Here’s the deal, you can’t change everything at once. There’s no magic wand or magic words, it’s going to be a whole lot of work and the more divided your focus is, the harder it will be to generate new habits. Be patient, you’ll get to the other goals, they don’t have to wait until next year, but take starting them on one at a time. Last, but certainly not least, try to enjoy the process, there’s no reason change needs to suck.

bob ross, meme, new year, resolution, mistakes
Be like Bob.

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A Day in the Life: My Writing Process

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Writing can be grueling, but probably not for the reasons you think. Check out this never before seen sneak peek into my writing process and learn why it really takes me so long to get anything done.

P.S. I actually go through an extremely similar process when I stream, for any of my Twitch fans wondering why I’m not live more often.


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Everything But the Kitchen Sink

Everything But the Kitchen Sink

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Hello my delightful Cannes-Cans! I hope you all enjoyed a happy and fun holiday season. As always, I’m just a touch late to the party, but I have some exciting news and a gift – of sorts – for all my fans and followers: More Me!!!

cyberterrism, aftermath, me, roselynn cannesIn the process of recovering from the cataclysm that was my computer’s destruction, I’ve been struggling to get back into any kind of swing of things. In my most recent post about the aftermath of what happened, I talked about how I was moving toward acceptance. I’m still not sure I’m there. Honestly, I have good days and bad. Some are a flurry of activity – I’ve even managed to make some progress on Destroyed – while others are a struggle in nearly every way. The good news, at least, is that I seem to be having more good days than bad lately and I’ve made some personal changes (particularly a new and lower stress job) that seem to have bolstered my motivation and creativity. Amen-hallelujah! It’s about fucking time.

To start, if you haven’t been around (because I haven’t been posting), I’ve added some new pages to My Twisted Fairy Tales. Be sure to check them all out. I now have pages for fans of my fiction and fans of my Twitch stream. It’s been slow going, partly because this is not yet my full-time job and partly because there’s a lot I still have to learn about technology, but I’m working hard to make a fun and interactive home base for my Street Team. If you don’t know what a street team is, don’t fret, I’ve posted an FAQ. Your feedback and questions are very welcome! Submit here.

In addition to the new pages here, I’m doing my part to make myself more interactive and accessible. I’m the first to admit that social media doesn’t really light my fire, but I’ve been thinking hard about things I can do to get more involved in ways that will be fun for me and all of you. To start, I’ve begun (just today) to start using my Snapchat story feature. I thought it would be a great way to offer you all glimpses into my daily life and give you the opportunity to see what a goob I actually am. Add me on Snap @roselynncannes to see #adayinthelife of Cannes-Can. You’re welcome.

The other social media platform I’ve been supremely underutilizing is Goodreads. I’ve always been an avid reader and I ache when I think about how little reading I’ve done lately. This needs to change immediately, if not sooner. I’ve added a “Currently Reading” widget here so you will always know what book I’ve got my nose stuck in. Don’t forget to add me on Goodreads so we can nerd out together over our latest and greatest literary obsessions. I’m always open to book recommendations and I love dissecting the tops and bottoms of my reading list.

I’ve heard it said time and again that consistency is the secret to success. I’ve also heard it said that writers write (go figure). One of my issues with consistently blogging has been that I don’t always know what I want to write about and I wait for inspiration to strike, which typically means that I’m waiting for something I feel highly emotionally invested in. As I spend a lot of time doing follow-up research, searching for the perfect words, editing, and finding appropriate media content to include with my posts, I tend to be a bit of a slow writer. By the time it’s all said and done, I’ve frequently lost my fervor for whatever I started writing about and the post sits unfinished, never to see the light of day. Suffice to say I need to change my methods or I will forever and always be in a state of fits-and-starts.

Since what I really want to do is write for a living and since many of you are here because of my written content, it’s logical to make flash fiction my priority focus for my blog. I’ve had a blast doing promotional flash fiction and I love the idea of doing more of it. Part of what mateemo, lol, league of legends, selfie, roselynn cannesde the promotional pieces so fun for me was the game aspect. I was given a prompt – and in some cases a requisite story to build on and words I had to include – and good, bad, or ugly I had to make the best of what I was given. It really forced me to think outside my normal patterns and get creative in order to write a cohesive and interesting short. To date, I hadn’t been able to find a consistent source for prompts that inspired the same sense of fun, uniqueness, and challenge I experienced when I wrote those flash fiction pieces. Well, ask and ye shall receive! Husband inadvertently placed the perfect set of prompts in my stocking for Christmas this year (Thank you, Darling!). The first post will go live this Friday and each subsequent Friday in what I shall be dubbing #FlashFictionFriday. The only thing I love more than games is secrets and I wouldn’t want to ruin the surprise, so you’ll just have to stay tuned. This is either the best idea I’ve ever had, or the worst. We shall see 😉

Last, but certainly not least, I’ve recently joined Patreon, which I hope will be great for me and for all of my fans. If you don’t know what Patreon is, that’s okay. You can read a bit about what it is and why it will be good for me, and by association all of you, here. Success for me would mean that writing is lucrative enough to make story-telling my full-time job. My success means that I have more time to create more of the content you want from me. If you enjoy my content, be it on my blog, my fiction, my stream, or my social media, at least check my Patreon out. Even if you decide patronage isn’t for you, there are lots of other ways you can show your appreciation, connect with me, and get involved. I’d love to see all your smiling faces! (Literally).

This is Cannes-Can wishing you all a very Happy New Year! Thank you all for being here! I heart your collective faces off!!!


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10 Reasons Work Relationships are like Real Relationships without the Sex

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The other day I found myself in one of those hilarious “you had to be there” conversations with my boss in which I teasingly nagged at him about taking over his life (I’m his recently appointed office manager) and he threatened to break up with me in order to find a newer, younger office manager to replace me with. After sharing a good laugh, he brought up the point that work relationships are like real relationships, but without the sex. In other words, what many people would call marriage. Frankly, if this is your idea of marriage, you’re doing it wrong, but that’s another topic for another day.

Maybe it’s a reflection of my dysfunctional work relationships, but I do find myself agreeing with Boss-Man on this one. Because I love lists and funny comparisons: 10 reasons work relationships are like real relationships without the sex. You’re welcome.

1.  Everyone starts out on their best behavior, but eventually you get comfortable and just stop trying. This takes a fairly pessimistic view on relationships– and work– but stereotypes like this make me laugh, so naturally it made the cut.

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2.  Sometimes you love each other, sometimes you hate each other, most of the time you’re indifferent. More pessimism here, but what can I say? I think I’m funny.

3.  They instantly become a hero in your eyes if they bring you food unexpectedly. They say the secret to a man’s heart is in his stomach; I say, “that’s not exclusive to men.”

4.  Eventually, you adopt a “what’s mine is mine, and what’s yours is mine too” attitude. This is particularly true in regards to food. I have no problem eating off my co-workers’ plates and they seem to have no problem eating off of mine. I’ve also been known to pout until my husband trades meals with me because I was hit with a particularly intense case of food envy. Okay, that was one time, but it still happened. Not my finest moment… Sharing is caring?

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5.  If sexual innuendos aren’t a part of your daily repartee, you’re not trying hard enough.

6.  Get drunk together: mistakes will be made and you’ll never look at each other the same. Holiday office parties are proof.

7.  It takes time, but you’ll reach levels of comfort with each other that culminates in discussions of and jokes about bodily functions. You all know what I’m getting at. Poop! No matter what your comfort level with the topic is, at some point you will talk to your co-worker and significant others about dookie. If you’re anything like me, it will be because you’re nearing a crisis and you have been left with absolutely no choice. After that bridge has been crossed, though, it’s anyone’s game. Bodily functions are hilarious.

8.  At some point, you may meet the family and it’s always awkward. In the case of your significant other, you want to make a good impression while in the case of your coworker, you’ll probably find yourself wondering why this is happening.

9.  You experience irrational jealousy at the attention others receive. You likely even know it’s irrational, but you can’t stop yourself.

10. And the magic that started it all: when you make a mistake or have a fight, you worry that they’re going to replace you with someone else.

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My New Job as a Prostitute… I Mean Construction Worker

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I had a lot of reasons for choosing to self-publish, and I stand by the decision, however, it did come with some drawbacks. Firstly, it turns out self-publishing is expensive. No, like, really expensive (who knew). Around the time I was gearing up to publish Fallen, I realized I needed book money, so I got a job with my sister doing decorative concrete. Because I have a slightly twisted and off key sense of humor, at first I told people that it was this or prostitution. However, as soon as I actually started working, I quickly realized that construction and prostitution have a more in common than you might think. I don’t actually know, but if I had to guess…

Anyway, in no particular order, here are some of my revelations:

  • You never know how good, bad, or ugly the job is going to be until you show up.
  • Construction workers, like prostitutes, spend a lot of time on their knees.
  • At some point during the day, you will probably end up with something unpleasant in your mouth.
  • It might not be today, and it might not be tomorrow, but inevitably you will have to touch something gross.
  • Both jobs involve stripping. In the case of construction, DO NOT get the chemical stripper on your skin; that shit burns.
  • Both jobs will inevitably require you to contort your body in strange and uncomfortable ways.
  • At the end of the day, muscles you didn’t know existed will probably hurt.
  • You WILL want to shower as soon as you get home.
  • At some point, someone is going to ask you to do something you don’t want to do.
  • When this time comes, you may want to impale your boss with something sharp for telling you to do “the thing.”
  • Both jobs can take you all over the country, but you will probably only want to work in the nicer parts.
  • Your eyes may burn from the smell, just breathe through your mouth.
  • If you have to ask what it is, you probably don’t want to know.
  • Someone may ask to come inside.
  • And, as always, safety first. Never get started without wearing your protective equipment.

Well, there you have it. Clearly construction and prostitution are virtually the same job. You know, in case you were wondering.


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Originally published July 2015 on my old website, this post was revised and transferred to MyTwistedFairyTales August 2016.

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Is That Like Rocky Mountain Oysters?

Is That Like Rocky Mountain Oysters?

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BullsBalls
Ah, my nut sac! Ah!

October of last year, I plunged ass-first into the world of self-published writers. Almost a year later and I still feel like I have no idea what I’m doing most of the time. Don’t care, it’s still some of the most fun I’ve ever had. Just maybe don’t use me as the foremost authority on writing, or publishing, or adulting.

While I’ve done pretty well staying focused on the writing part of publishing…sort of. Focus is relative… Anyway, by choosing to indie publish, I am not just responsible for the writing, but everything else that comes with it. Like PR. To do this effectively, I’m told I need to find a niche. You know, brand myself, or something. Apparently drinking gin and ripping my pants off in public is only ideal marketing for strippers. Or so I’m told. I don’t know, it’s hard to remember when I’ve been drinking.

But I digress.

It’s likely that I will continue refusing to wear pants (viva la revolución), but that doesn’t mean I can’t also attempt to focus. And by focus, I obviously mean meander less. As a natural scatter-brain, focusing on just one thing is sort of like attempting to force a square peg into a round hole. It doesn’t matter how hard I push, it just won’t fit. However, there is something I already do on a consistent basis that doesn’t involve drinking or pantsless dancing– shocking, but it’s true. Drum roll, please…………

It’s research. When I write, I do stupid amounts of research. This is partly because I care about getting the details right and partly because I’m prone to falling down the rabbit hole once I get started. I come across a number of strange and interesting bits of information in my quest to find the exact piece of data that I’m looking for. What better place is there to share all the often useless knowledge that doesn’t make it into the final cut than right here? You’re welcome.

Without further ado, as the Fallen Series was largely influenced and inspired by Ancient Greco-Roman society, I’ll kick things off with some fun facts about the ancient world:

  1. In Ancient Greece throwing an apple to a woman was considered a marriage proposal. In part two of this fun fact, catching said apple meant she accepted the proposal. So, ladies, if you’re single and intend to stay that way, beware of flying fruit.
  2. Anyone that saw the movie 300 knows that in Ancient Sparta boys began military training at age 7. But did you also know that military service lasted until age 60? Assuming, of course, they lived that long. That’s what I call job security.
  3. Music in Ancient Greece was a form of mathematics as well as art. This might explain why I’m terrible at both; they’re actually the same thing.
  4. Beard trimming became an art in Ancient Greece. So much so that barbers became leading citizens. So, basically Greeks were the first hipsters. At least we know who to blame.
  5. Ancient Olympic competitors ate sheep testicles to enhance performance. So evidently, performing enhancing drugs have been a problem since the outset. Go figure. In additional news, only men were allowed to compete in the early Olympics and they did so in the nude to ensure that no women participated in the games. Imagine running that way. Was the chafing worth it, boys? Was it really?

God I love useless trivia so much. Bask in it with me for a moment. Do you feel that? That warm tingling sensation is the feeling of information you’ll probably never need burrowing itself into the synapses of your mind. Ahhhh… Enjoy 😉


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This post was originally published December 30, 2015 on my old website; it was revised and published to MyTwistedFairyTales August 1, 2016.

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Fealty, Not Favors

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Fuck. Me. Hard. It’s nearly August. While I’m not entirely sure where the past seven months went– mostly I blame the gin– I do know that in August I will be in Troy, MI for Rust City Book Con‘s kick off year. As always, I’m wildly excited to take my pants off and meet fellow authors and book nerds. To get my game face on, I recently participated in Alpha Heroes’ five-word flash fiction game. Because I know nothing about steampunk, other than I love the cosplay, and I’m not sure I could effectively write contemporary if my life depended on it, I was the fourth author to take on the Alchemy series. See the full interview and find links for parts I, II, and III here. Keep reading to see what shenanigans our dear Mara got to under my tender, loving care.

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The Real Reason I Shouldn’t Be Allowed to Talk to People

The Real Reason I Shouldn’t Be Allowed to Talk to People

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i hate pants and socializing, introvert, no to pantsYou may think all writers are anti-social introverts who hate interacting with others. While I would typically tell you not to be a judgmental twat-waffle, I can also acknowledge that some stereotypes exist for a reason and unfortunately this may be one that I live up to. No, I’m not anti-social per say, but I do enjoy my own company– and that of the voices in my head– more than I enjoy anyone else’s. And sure I don’t actually hate interacting with others, but there are certainly aspects of appropriate social behavior that I don’t love. Like small talk…and wearing pants.

There is no situation in which my social fuckery is more prevalent than when new men approach me to strike up a conversation. Why? Because no matter how mundane it starts, I assume they are eventually going to steer the conversation down a road I’m not interested in traveling. Is this judgmental and probably vain of me? Absofuckinglutely. Do I care? No.

Before you call me a hypocrite for being a judgy bitch– which I might be, but is beside the point– walk a mile in my shoes. Life experience has taught me that the subtext of “Hey, how are ya?” is actually “Hey, DTF?” Since my answer to this question has always been a loud and resounding no, I’ve had to learn to navigate these uncomfortable situations in ways that allow me to leave feeling good about myself, and comfortable with my safety, while still getting my message across.

When I was a young lass who cared too much what other people thought of me, I didn’t want to be presumptuous, so I always tried to be amiable and friendly while throwing subtle signs that I wasn’t interested in anything other than polite conversation. Seems like nice enough way of handling things if I do say so myself. Unfortunately, I’ve never found subtlety to be particularly effective, so when the inevitable advance was finally made and I said “Thanks, but no thanks,” I suddenly found myself branded a tease and wondering how the hell that happened. As this became a repetitive issue, I naturally thought the problem was me.

Not wanting to send mixed messages, I changed my approach. No one likes to feel strung along, so logically it follows that if subtlety doesn’t work, then a courteous but firm dismissal right out the gate would be appreciated, right? Wrong. Evidently, candidly expressing a lack of interest before an actual proposition has been made makes one a conceited bitch. Well, shit. I can’t fucking win, can I? The result is that navigating the line between demonstrating exclusively platonic interest and being a pleasant, sociable human being is stressful, not to mention exhausting. And I know I’m not the only woman that feels this way. It was out of this damned if I do, damned if I don’t reality that I adopted an “If you can’t beat ’em, fuck with ’em” attitude.

Sarcasm is, and kind of always has been, my thing. Some would call it a defense mechanism; I just think I’m funny. I used to temper my natural impulses because people that don’t realize I’m being sarcastic think I’m just an asshole. As I’ve gotten older and possibly a little wiser, I’ve decided that if I don’t want to wear pants, I simply won’t wear pants. And if I want to be sarcastic, by God, I’ll be sarcastic. I’m not malicious or cruel, I just happen to have a dry sense of humor. I’ve also found that maybe I can use my super-human ability for sarcasm for good rather than evil. You be the judge.

With social media rapidly replacing face-to-face interaction, and too many people treating Facebook like Tinder, social media has become an excellent forum for me to let my true colors fly. Ladies, I hope my methods amuse and inspire you. Gentlemen, it’s not personal, but if you private message me and I don’t know you, prepare to be trolled. Among my ever growing repertoire, here are some of my favorite tactics for deflecting unwanted attention, each used with varying levels of success by yours truly

P.S. I didn’t obtain permission before posting these, so I’ve deleted the names and pictures of everyone I’ve interacted with in order to protect their identity as well as avoid a lawsuit for slander or some shit. My side of the conversation is always in blue.

Tactic 1: The Curt Reply

Now, in my experience one-word answering someone only deters them about 50% of the time, and that’s when it’s used in person. Online the success rate is even lower. So, while I recognize the Curt Reply isn’t the most efficient deterrent, I like to use it to give potential would-be suitors an opportunity to declare their intentions. They rarely do, which means I go into the conversation planning on following up with one of my other tactics.

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This is as far as I ever go with the Curt Reply before employing something else. Which tactic I move to depends entirely on my mood and the general direction of the conversation thus far.

Tactic 2: Just Call a Spade a Spade

In spite of what I said earlier, there’s nothing wrong with taking the direct approach. If all your spidey senses are screaming stranger danger, you are well within your right to ask someone what they expect to get out of the conversation. But be warned, if you’re direct early on, you’re likely to be hit with defensiveness and/or a guilt trip. Like this guy, who got defensive and tried to make me feel like a jerkwad for asking him what his endgame was. SMH. He had no idea the can of worms he just opened up. I almost feel bad for him. Almost.

troll, direct, guilt trip, don't even

 

Tactic 3: Make Yourself as Pretentious, Vapid, and Self-Centered as Possible

This was my response to Mr. I Just Want To Have A Nice Chat. It seemed fair. One of the reasons I’m on social media is to interact with and reach readers. Maybe I’d spark his interest, we’d share a laugh, and he would look into my book. Right? Appallingly, as the conversation continued, my certainty that he hasn’t read a single book grew three times that day.

troll, vapid, self-centered, don't talk to me

I don’t always talk about my writing when using this approach. Any manner of superficial first world problem will do.

troll, nail polish, avoiding people

Tactic 4: Say It In Song

Sometimes they think I’m as funny as I think I am, though I’ll admit that’s a rare turn. More often I get a lot of okay’s in response to my antics, so props to this guy both for being direct and for taking my rejection in stride.

troll, say it in song

Tactic 5: Speak Exclusively in Quotes

These can be either book or movie quotes. The thing to remember is that the more famous and well recognized the quote, the less relevant it needs to be to whatever question you’ve been asked.

 

 

troll, book quotes, this happened

troll, quotes, seriously, this happened

Tactic 6: Give Them a Dose of Their Own Medicine

This is similar to Calling a Spade a Spade. Both tactics involve being direct about the situation, but Give Them a Dose of Their Own Medicine has the added element of twisting the situation to make them the bad guy. On a separate note, instant messengers, use some common sense! If you messaged me, you should know who the fuck you’re talking to. My name is on the top of the damn IM box. Jesus Christ.

troll, fuckboy, again seriously

 

Tactic 7: Use an Obscure Metaphor

And ride that gravy train all the way into the station. This one happened to have the added bonus of continuing the reverse guilt train he tried to start with me at the beginning of the conversation.

troll, metaphor, library book

 

Well, I certainly hope he learned his lesson, though given his excessive use of the word ‘okay’, I have my doubts.

In conclusion and summation of, there you have it: my favorite tactics for deflecting unwanted attention. While I may be an asshole, I’m a clever asshole. Remember, it only needs to be funny to me, and I have a weird sense of humor.


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Basically, I Have No Idea What I’m Doing

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Hey there, party people! What better way to christen the new website than a video. During my live interview with Shelf Addiction, I endeavored to answer the tough questions, and I did so with all the effectiveness of Peter Griffin attempting to tackle the greased up deaf guy at a picnic if I do say so myself.

Why do I hate pants? Because they’re the worst.

How difficult is it to do research for my books? We’ll never know. Much like my research habits, I followed my rapidly derailed train of thought right down the rabbit hole.

What would I say to convince readers to give my books a shot? Not only did I likely deter a whole subset of potential readers, I suspect I crushed the hopes and dreams of many of my current readers. #winning

Clearly I nailed it. Still, this seems like the perfect opportunity to adopt my softball team’s motto: Win or lose, we booze! Say it with me now: Win or lose, we booze! Win or lose, we booze!

Check out the full video to see me in all my ridiculous glory.

Do you have a question you wish I’d answer? Don’t hesitate to ask; I love being the center of attention.


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